Wear and tear

“Wear and Tear” is a sketch written by John Lindsay. Wear and Tear was first performed at Destiny Worship Center in 2011. This church-friendly drama is a short two-part comedy requiring two characters. This Christian comedy is ideal for a church or Bible study considering incorporating drama into its service or youth program. Below is the first half of this two-part sketch. If you’d like the full script, make a request for a complementary complete copy of “Wear and Tear” via email to lindsay@actofgodbranson.com. Keep in mind that there are 15 sketches for all occasions complete with lesson plans and scripture references in the collection Consider the Stars.

Wear and Tear

(The pastor sets the stage by talking about how easy it is for people to get agitated, then takes a T-shirt and a dark sweater and tosses them into a laundry basket and exits. Two people enter and stand next to each other facing the audience: One black female wearing a dark colored sweater and one white male wearing an old white T-shirt)

T-SHIRT:     What are you doing here?

SWEATER:   Don’t ask me. I don’t think I got worn but once.

(The white male looks at the sweater and rolls his eyes)

SWEATER:   (continuing; with attitude) What?

T-SHIRT:     Everyone knows you’re not supposed to mix lights and darks.

SWEATER:   Like I could make you dingier.

T-SHIRT:     It’ could happen.

SWEATER:   Na uh.

T-SHIRT:     A huh.

SWEATER:   Na uh.

T-SHIRT:     A huh.

SWEATER:   I hope you fray.

T-SHIRT:     I hope you snag. (pause) What I wouldn’t give for a long hot soak.

SWEATER:   She wouldn’t dare use anything but cold water. I’m a delicate fine hand washable that prefers to be dry cleaned. (sniffs) What’s that smell? That better not be chlorine bleach.

T-SHIRT:     You are so spoiled. Dry clean. Must be tuff slumming it with the poli-blends.

SWEATER:   Joke all you want but the only time you’ll be considered outerwear is when the old man’s cleaning the garage.

T-SHIRT:     Well nobody wants you next to their skin. (disappointed) Water’s warm.

SWEATER:   Warm! Can’t she read? My tag says cold water only. What does the word “only” mean to you?

T-SHIRT:     At least the water’ll get cold. One thing’s for sure. Water never seems to get hotter.  (beat) I wonder how long she’s going to let us soak this time?

SWEATER:   I heard one time she forgot about a load for six days.

T-SHIRT:     I was in that load.

SWEATER:   No stain.

T-SHIRT:     I didn’t mind soaking. It’s better than that agitation cycle.

SWEATER:   Yeesh. Agitation. I’d rather be rung out to dry. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you?

T-SHIRT:     Got washed along with some old tennis shoes. Never want to do that again. The shoes didn’t come clean the first time so…

SWEATER:   No she didn’t. Two agitation cycles back to back? What was the water level?

T-SHIRT:     Extra-large.

SWEATER:   Delicate setting?…Permanent press?

T-SHIRT:     Regular. (Sweater gasps) We lost some good socks that day.

PASTOR:     Properties of H2O: Adhesion and cohesion: sticks to itself; if two things are wet, they will stick to each other. Properties of soap: chemically changes the polarity of oils so they are attracted to the H2O and repelled away from its host.

God’s word is like H2O: It sticks together (agrees with itself).

Soap is a combination of repentance and understanding of the truth and nature of God.

What good is soap without water? What good is soap and water without agitation? The trick is to be patient and appreciate the agitation for what it is and what it’s designed to do. And to keep our eyes on the fact we’re being cleaned, dried and folded (prepared), remembering that we may be put on a shelf or in a drawer for a future purpose.

Rule of thumb: If you want to greatly reduce the agitation in your life – stop playing in the dirt!

2 Responses to “Wear and tear”

  1. Oldsoul 212 Says:

    Interesting read for the relationship between God and his people. Does the script include with explanation of “dirt” as SIN, and or further explain why extended or intense agitation is necessary when the dirt is not remediated and or if it is repeated throughout the garment “persons” life?

  2. John Lindsay Says:

    No matter how clean we try to keep ourselves, we live in an unclean world. Have you ever asked yourself why God told Moses to take off his shoes? Just like ours, Moses’ shoes carried in dirt (e.g. fears, regrets, desires, etc.) into God’s presence. We can only show him he is our shepherd when we position ourselves as sheep in His flock (i.e. to want for nothing). If we continue to feed ourselves on the things we want, there’s a good possibility that we won’t be hungry to eat what God has prepared for us. “Man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by every word that precedes out of the mouth of God.” Deuteronomy 8:3. Remember, God doesn’t trust just anybody with trouble. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Proverbs 13:24